The heteronormative assumption is that everyone’s financial planning needs are the same regardless of sexual orientation is one that few think about correcting. But as a member of the gay community, I can tell you that our concerns and priorities are definitely different and this is why it Is important for advisors to change their perspectives.
I identify as a lesbian and growing up, I had a lot of insecurities about being gay. In school, my teachers would imply that being gay meant you were a good-for-nothing and you would never be able to hold a “respectable” (read: well-paying) job.
My teachers’ prejudice against gay students certainly did not help assuage how most of us feel that we don’t fit in with the typical Singaporean life-path where one graduates, gets a job, finds love, applies for an HDB flat, gets married, has kids, and then invests all their resources bringing up their children in the hopes that they’d be provided for when they grow old.
I feel very strongly that the time is right for me to share how LGBTQ financial needs are different and how advisors can help their gay clients better.
We should all make an effort to avoid tying stereotypes to a person’s sexual identity. Just because someone is gay, it doesn’t mean they spend an inordinate amount of money on clothes or partying. A straight person is just as likely to suffer a mid-career crisis and ditch a stable job to travel the world. Within the LGBTQ community, spending habits and financial challenges likely vary amongst members too.
For me, I have 2 diverse groups of LGBTQ customers. One group is very concerned about things like their health, future, retirement, and providing for their aging parents. The other is more focused on living in the moment. The latter group feels that, since they have no children to take care of or pass down their wealth to, they might as well live the good life while they can.
As an advisor, I try to help my clients find the right balance between maintaining the lifestyle they want and setting aside enough for their future. Besides that, there are a few areas that affect a gay person differently from a straight.
1. Property
Unlike our heterosexual friends who can apply for government housing when they get married, gay couples cannot. The potential opportunity cost to us can be felt when our straight friends sell their HDB flats for a nice profit and move up the property ladder into private condominiums.
We can only purchase an HDB flat as singles when we reach 35. And if your partner moves in with you, there are additional legal considerations to take note of. Within a marriage, there’s some degree of legal protection for both parties but, what of gay partnerships in this country?
2. Health
Being gay can be emotionally draining, especially in Singapore where same-sex marriages are not recognised. Often, I start my first meeting with a gay customer by asking, “Do your parents know?” This is because the stress of not being able to come out to your closest and dearest can exact a psychological burden and, it is one you might have to budget for if you need to see a therapist. Also, do consider if being thrown out of your family home is a real possibility when you decide to come out to your parents. Again, this involves a certain level of financial preparedness.
HIV and STDs are still very much a taboo whether you’re straight or gay. You don’t have to declare your sexual orientation when you purchase health insurance but many of my gay customers do and so, have to take a sexual history questionnaire. My advice to my customers is to get a health insurance while they’re healthy and to consider the longevity of their finances so that they have enough money to pay for professional carers if they need one later in life.
Another issue is whether you’re considered as “next of kin”. This is something I personally worry about because should something happen to my partner, the doctors won’t reveal her condition to me because I’m not related to her in the eyes of the law.
3. Wealth
Ultimately, it boils down to how you want your wealth to be handled. For LGBTQ couples, there is a lot more planning to make. Shared assets can be tricky because, how do you plan to divide them if you both should ever break up?
With that in mind, I always ask my customers some “worst-case scenario” questions because it is good to be upfront and know what your end-game is going to look like. The last thing you want to be fighting over during such an emotional time is money. In addition to getting my customers thinking about this, I’d also ask if they’d like me to meet their partners and, if they’d prefer I hold these meetings separately or together.
As a gay financial planner, I’m personally committed to ensuring all LGBTQ friends get the financial advice they need for a better, clearer future. If you have any questions or uncertainty about how your financial future should be planned, drop me a note. I’d be happy to help!
